Monday, October 26, 2009

AYN RAND WAS FUCKING DUMB.

Alex Honnold trying not to lose his shit on Half Dome


I have come as close as I want to epic climbing disaster. I have seen my life flash before my eyes free-soloing. I have taken horrifying falls. I have made my own stomach curl up in to my throat on the top outs of higher-than-high boulders. I have been lost as hell in the woods of the high country above Yosemite Valley at night trying desperately to find my way back to the car. It has been said that climbing is a selfish pursuit. Whoever said that is either A] Not a climber, B] A complete jackass, or both. Climbing is only a selfish pursuit if the person climbing is selfish. Saying that climbing is a selfish pursuit is like saying buying a car in your preferred color is a selfish act. FREE-SOLOING is a selfish pursuit. The things you put at risk doing such a thing take a certain measure of "fuck you world" in order to swallow deep and grab those first holds. Which is all at once an honorable and courageous act, while at the same time about as childish and stupid as running around yelling "mememememe me me me!". Which isn't to say I disapprove, or have not dipped my hand in to my chalkbag and took off up something without being tied in. It's just to say that when you do so, YOU BETTER MAKE FUCKING SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

Why am I talking about this? The topic of free-soloing has hit home (literally) lately, as my best friend, climbing partner, and roommate has just broken his ankle in an attempt to solo Supernova (5.14b) at Rumney. Max wrote all about his epic experience on the Boston Rock Gym blog. It has since been linked on ClimbingNarc. Free soloing seems to be getting a shit-ton of press lately. Whether it's the recent death of world famous ropeless climber John Bachar or all the rave of Alex Honnold, and I think it's really important that we keep all this shit in perspective. People like Honnold are definitely asking for it. I'm sorry, but he is. I wish him the best of luck in all of his climbing endeavors. His free-solos are awe-inspiring and downright impressive. But they are also mind-numbingly stupid. Dying doing something you love is in a way amazing. But really only in a cheesy poetic way. Outside of that, it's actually pretty ridiculous. I mean, wouldn't you rather CONTINUE to do what you love?

That said, it is extremely important to note that on the topic of free-soloing, my opinion does not matter. Much like when I told Max the night prior to his accident "I don't think it's a good idea.", I am sure that if someone whom cared deeply for Alex Honnold told him not to do what he does, he would likely smile and nod, and go do it anyhow.

When trying to explain Max's injury to a non-climbing friend of mine I was asked "why the hell would you do that?" While I couldn't speak specifically for Max's motivations, I could answer the question:

"We as climbers want to push the limits. Our limits-both physically and mentally, we want to push the limits of what is possible as a climber, we want to reach new thresholds and hew heights-literally and figuratively."

"But why not just tie in?" my friend asks. I had to put it in terms he could understand:

"When you and I get on our fixed gear bikes and go tearing through the busy streets of Boston without brakes people think we are insane. But we get it. We know our limits, we feel in control of our bikes and the situation we are putting ourselves in. We love the exhilaration and pureness of the fixed gear bike. The simplicity of it, and yes, at times, the riskiness of it all."

He nodded. Now it made sense.

Steph Davis well in to the "no fall zone" sans rope.

And that's just it. Us weirdos out on the lunatic fringe of society are always pushing our own limits. Whether it's to increase our heart rate, boost our own egos, or simply because we think-and have sometimes convinced ourselves-that we are invincible. Steph Davis once said that "free-soloing is the ultimate display of control." I can't say I disagree. But it's important to recognize that the potential for accident-which is to say-things that are *outside* control is not finite. Shit can, and certainly will happen. The more you free-solo, the more you put yourself out there to push those limits, those physical and mental bounds, the closer you will get to that scary edge. A scary edge that falling off of can land you in emergency surgery with a smashed ankle, bug-eyed and laughing with your friends at how close of a call you just had, or dead.

The late Mike Reardon.

One important thing that Max touched on in his little screed about his experience is something that I have as of yet to see mentioned in any other public forum on the topic of free-soloing is how it affects those around you. In his case it was his employer, friends, roommate, etc. The Reel Rock Tour fails to mention in it's heart-warming interviews of Alex Honnold and his mom just how awful it would be if he died. How it might devastate those around him. Those stories are saved for the obituary issues of Climbing. Where numerous people chime in to tell their stories about John Bachar or Derek Hersey. It seems as though we maybe glorify the acts of free-soloists until it's too late. Perhaps more articles should have been written calling Mike Reardon a moron. Perhaps not.

Climbing is not a selfish pursuit, it's an amazing and fulfilling lifestyle and activity that can bring people together, form the strongest of bonds, and teach you a million lessons. It is also inherently dangerous. The lesson of injury or death from free-soloing is not a climbing lesson, it is a life lesson. Cherish what you have, love what you do, and don't be stupid.

Maxim asleep in my car on the way home from the hospital. Glad you're ok pal.

7 comments:

  1. I think what you have said makes sense in a million ways. And you know I'm the first one to give people a hard time when they think they deserve it, as you are critiquing the act of soloing, but I must say there is another side to this debate. It's late and I don't think I may be articulate enough to write much of anything... but here it goes...

    My current professional job is essentially as a risk manager. I work with HIV patients whose lives have obviously been affected by the choices they have made. Some choices were reckless, and some were well thought out and for some they simply trusted the wrong person, often their life partner. It has caused me to re-evaluate my own choices in life the risk I take. I mean for god sakes I have had many HIV tests, or in other words, I checked to see if prior risks I had taken had developed a negative outcome...

    Soloing is a lot more black and white, but it too, is simply a negotiated risk. There is always a chance for something to be loose; whether it's the big flake in front of you or your partner of 13 years who due to one reason or another had a transgression, whether it being drugs or sex, or maybe even an HIV exposure which had happened prior to the relationship even started.

    There is always risk which you can't control, ask Alison Hardgrave whom dies on K2, or Alex Lowe whom died a mile from his objective placidly skiing on a glacier. sometime their are things we overlooked, such as Todd Skinner whom failed to retire his harnesses before the belay loop snapped on rappel or even Max's premonitions before his foot being jacked by an nasty bit of landing...

    In the end, LIFE is about risk... Risk as minor as getting on a bike for the first time, asking that special women to go to coffee for the first time, or as serious as choosing to push your mind, spirit and heart by stepping off the ground with out a cord.

    We all die, and every time it is tragic, and most often death is said to have come too soon... But life with out risk is not what we do...

    We have all had unprotected sex, whether with our life partner or some sloppy college transgression... We have all started up routes and had epics; I can recall being on a gorgeous ice flow that was too thin or rotten too accept my gear... should I have turned around... It's one of my fondest and revered memories... I don't regret it...

    I also don’t regret getting my friend Julian in to climbing. He dies at 21 rappelling in the Tetons; I loved him, dearly... He was living the life he wanted... Fresh air, mountain meadows, blue bird skies and acres of upwardly thrust choss rock... an alpine rock climbers dream.

    Did he make a fatal mistake that could have been avoided... sure, he trusted an un-trustworthy fixed sling... But many would have said that doing multi pitch routes in the mountains in itself was too risky....

    In the end, what are our lives worth...? Sure there are enormous investments, emotional, physical and financial that our families and friends pour into us throughout our lives... the relinquishment of that investment is tragic... The loss of or friends, moms, brothers, sisters pops, they are all too be missed for ass long as we shall live...

    But I view those investments to have paid out... they helped support a life, a story of an individual, every moment of a persons life is worth it, and the fact that one of their risks, risks which gave them a richness of being did not pay out... like I said every loss is tragic, but life is meant to be lived...

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  2. oh... but like Gav said... Don't be stupid...

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  3. i too, am happy he is okay. we just lost good friend recently and it's NOT okay to lose another to the same.

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  4. This was written in response to the video being publicly displayed on the internet. I will not make judgments as to free soloing having "soloed" some very committing routes myself. That was years ago. Before.... Wife, family, etc. I will not ever free solo again. I was also insured at the time.

    The fact that is on the internet is testimony to the perpetual irresponsibility of all those involved. When are you kids gonna get your shit together. Tayler... WTF makes you think this is appropriate to "advertise" this. It is quite despicable actually. It reflects poorly not only on your judgement, but ALL of those who work and or represent BRG including but not limited to Chris, Gavin and Max. Max ...I have held back my thoughts since this happened. First,I am sorry that you injured, that is never a good thing.It could have been much, much, worse. However. your actions take the cake for some of the most selfish, irresponsibile, behavior I have seen from you. Your lack of forethought,and carelessness is trumped only by the total lack of respect and caring for..... Your FAMILY, friends, Boss, co-workers, People at Rumney who took time out of their lives to help your dumb-ass, the medical staff at the hospitals, and the taxpayers of both NH, and Mass. who will have to help absorb some of the cost of your un-insured self. And again your FAMILY, who care and love you most of all. I hope both your Mom and Dad kick your ass. ( in a loving metaphorical way ). I hope that you know how poorly your actions reflect on your place of employment. If you as head route setter are an example professionalism relative to rock climbing in that gym...........well, I sure as hell wouldn't send MY kids there.
    That being said.......I hope you learned a lesson. I am not sure at this point that you did. Hangboard + Vicoden = poor judgement (which we all know you have in spades). and another poor example to future generations of climbers.

    also

    I wish you well. I hope you have a speedy (doubtful) recovery, and smooth rehabilitation. I truly hope your ankle-talus heals properly. i wish you the best in your recovery and I will miss you while you are in fl. Say hello to your family from me. I still hope they kick your ass

    sent with love
    corson

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  5. who the eff is this corson dude? chill out bro, the vid is gnarl and the dude learned his lesson.

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  6. lol.... it's one of his close friends...

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  7. i think all of this people have commed a long way

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